His Needs, Her Needs: Building a Marriage That Lasts

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Cá nhân mình thấy thì tác giả có nhiều lần trích dẫn Kinh thánh (hoặc lời giảng của Chúa hay từ sách giáo huấn - mình không rõ gọi là gì), do không theo Thiên chúa nên mình cũng không cảm nhận được gì và cũng không hiểu gì. I read a lot of books on relationships and marriage in particular but this was eye opening as it looked at ways to prevent affairs. I saw a couple patterns forming with most of the negative reviews, so I'd like to address them, in the hopes of being helpful to any neutral party who is considering this book.

Domestic support- The wife should not pursue a career, and if she does work household chores should be divided according to the needs of the husband.

Honesty and openness - Husbands should have no problem turning their schedules over to their wives, especially if they've been unfaithful. The problem I have with this book is that I felt the author justifies (especially men) going and having an affair because their needs were not being met. I understand that probably every family that deals with a cheating spouse never thought it would happen to them, but I don't think that it is as common as the author makes it out to be, and even if it is, I don't think it's necessary to continually use guilt and scare tactics to make the reader feel insecure. Yet even spouses who cheat can learn how to 100% end their affairs and have love with their spouse again. At the beginning, I thought the author had some credibility and somewhat (simple) decent advice but my view changed with each chapter.

My husband and I read it early on and I really feel that it was the secret to our success and smooth sailing through the rough patches and growing pains we faced in our first few years. This is a great book with much to learn from, but it needs to be read between the lines and with a critical eye. The problem is that they take their relationships for granted and stop doing the things they did when they were dating.

Harley suggests that couples identify and understand their specific emotional needs and communicate them to their partners. His scolding that it's a simple matter of calories in=calories out no matter how many women protested this wasn't true pissed me off. When a spouse lacks fulfillment of any of the basic needs, it creates a thirst that must be quenched. is a relationship guide that illuminates the most important emotional and physical needs of men and women, helping couples build stronger and more fulfilling relationships.