I loved the content of this book! A lot of details on our conditioning to become nice and how the environmental pressures start taking us to not be ourselves under the notion of you are not nice! Soon enough we start becoming timid because we don’t want to be perceived as not nice or a-holes. Book Genre: Health, Mental Health, Nonfiction, Personal Development, Psychology, Relationships, Self Help I have the right to choose how much I want to see a friend or someone I’m dating, and end the relationship if it does not feel desirable to me. If you want to be a person who is taken seriously and seen as a leader both in business and socially, you must learn how to communicate with a tone of certainty. The good news is it’s not that hard. You don’t have to become smarter, gain twenty years of experience, or achieve anything else first. You can just start doing it now. Speaking with certainty is just a pattern of voice tone and body language. I’m not for everybody. That simple insight lead to a profound sense of relief. I no longer needed to convince every person who came across me or my message that I was a good, worthy person. Some people would love what I was doing, and some would not. That’s OK; I’m not for everybody. Just thinking it or saying it out loud makes me smile. Try saying it out loud right now: “I’m not for everybody.” Isn’t it a relief?"

the concepts in this book were life changing for me. the writing was a bit cheesy and I was skeptical of some of the stuff he said about gender and psychosomatic illnesses, but I’ll let that be. you can tell he was trying at least. I see the words "nice-guy" and it induces nausea and repulsion. Ok maybe not to that extent. But I definitely don't see "nice-guy" the same as I used to. Not at all. Long answer: I've struggled with people pleasing, anxiety, low self esteem, and stuttering my whole life. I wanted to please everyone. Say yes to everyone. Say yes to nobody. Everybody else came before me. Someone asks me to help them move? HOW could I POSSIBLE say no? Because if I say no, then they won't like me any more right? Hesitation: You often wait for the “right thing” to say (and thus speak way less than you normally do). All those hangouts we did not want to attend and the amount of things we say yes to but secretly feel resentful about are mere signs that we are NOT GENUINE with our true needs and wants.

But that's just the thing, you NEED to be willing to go through the discomfort. If you're not willing to do that, don't by this book. Honestly. But if you're willing to go through the discomfort, this book will absolutely change your life forever. And it is honestly VERY easy now. I now say no to people with no guilt. This book teaches you how to do that. I have the right to say “no” to anything I don’t want to do, for any reason, without needing to justify it or give an excuse. again, it isn't a miracle, i'm not suddenly Better. but this changed so much for me and i really truly cannot be more grateful for this book. it feels like a real concrete step in my healing process. I can honestly say without a doubt, that I am now the MOST assertive person I know, and I mean that with all the honesty in my heart. I feel powerful, in control, less anxious, happier, and I even stutter less lol.

It’s also very actionable. I listened to the audio book (read by author) and he was so persistent about pausing the audio and writing some things down. Which I personally liked because I often say later and later never comes. Writing down stuff helps with witnessing some serious transformations. Thanks Aziz Gazipurahere's what this book is not: it isn't a miracle. it's not going to fix you or your life. it isn't an intellectual, research-filled data oriented book about psychology. it doesn't hold the secrets of the universe and it won't give you all the answers you're looking for. and it certainly isn't going to do all the work for you.