Bad Dad: Laugh-out-loud funny children’s book by bestselling author David Walliams

Product Information

Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face. My parents are the worst.

Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you. That’s the punch line. Frank held his father’s hand as the ambulance raced to the hospital. The man’s right leg had been completely crushed in the crash, and he was losing a lot of blood. “Mr Goodie,” began the doctor as soon as Dad had been rushed into the Accident and Emergency department at the hospital. “I have some very bad news. We have to amputate your leg.” “Which one?” replied Dad, not losing his sense of humour at this dark time. “The right one, of course. If we don’t operate straight away, there is a very real chance you will die.” “I don’t want you to die, Dad!” said Frank. “It’s all right, mate. I’m good at hopping.” As Dad was immediately taken down to the operating theatre, Frank tried and tried to call his mother, but the line was engaged for hours. The operation took all night. Frank paced up and down the waiting area, unable to sleep. When his father came to from the anaesthetic in the morning, his son was the first person he saw when he opened his eyes.LOUDThere are silly ones and serious ones, ones and quiet ones. Of course there are good dads, and bad dads. This is the story of a dad and his son. Lopulta isä saa kuitenkin töitä, mutta hän ei suostu kertomaan siitä mitään Frankille, jonka epäilykset heräävät. Nyt ei kaikki ole kunnossa, ja niinpä Frank päättää vakoilla isäänsä... (Lukunäyte sivulta 73-74.)

Although it seems that dad jokes are a relatively new phenomenon, they were mentioned in 1987 by author Jim Kalbaugh in the Gettysburg Times as a specific genre of jokes. It is tough to say when the first dad joke was told and by whom. However, dad jokes have been around for a long time in one form or another. David Walliams’ recent novel, Bad Dad, features a Rolls Royce in a high speed car chase, a break-in to return stolen cash and a gay female vicar who marries the hero’s aunt. It was the 2nd bestselling book of 2017. Only that dastardly Jamie Oliver beat him! There are a lot of children reading Bad Dad. How could a Christian parent help their child to read it with their eyes open to the world it vividly depicts? I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So we stopped playing chess. Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said “parking fine.”I just found out Albert Einstein existed. My whole life I thought he was a theoretical physicist.A comma. A literalist takes everything literally. A kleptomaniac takes everything, literally. My young relatives enjoyed the adventure and there are colour drawings throughout, on shiny paper, making it quite a heavy book. This all makes it pricey so ideally you'd want kids to share. With car races and unlikely drives - Rolls Royces are heavy and not aerodynamic - and a villainous crime boss leeching off shopkeepers and borrowers, there's excitement and more than a few life lessons. Not too many of the tedious lists this time but tedious and bad poetry. While the use of varied fonts for words within lines is fun for kids, it hurt my eyes and makes the book look scribbled on though new. But it's a kids' book. Mate, you’re the best,” whispered Dad. It was clear he was in a lot of pain. “I am so pleased you made it, Dad,” replied Frank. “Of course. I didn’t want to miss seeing you grow up. Where’s your mother?” “I don’t know, Dad. I called and called her last night, but I couldn’t get through.” “She’ll come.” It was a couple of hours until she did. “Oh, Gilbert!” she said upon seeing him, and burst into tears. The family reunion was brief, though, as she didn’t stay that long. Gilbert was in hospital for months, but his wife’s visits to his bedside became less and less frequent, and shorter and shorter. However, the nurses set up a little camp bed for Frank, and the boy slept by his father’s side every single night. One day the doctors came in with a wooden leg for Gilbert. My wife gave birth three times and still fits in her prom dress from high school. I gave birth zero times and I don’t fit in my pants from March.

As Walliams portrays Christians as odd and the church as pathetic, we can tell our children that too many of our churches are almost empty, while some of our brothers and sisters are a little odd (remembering that we are all a little odd!) There is more to say. There was another time when people were tempted to stop meeting together and the writer to the Hebrews (10:23-25) encouraged them, “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” Some bad dad jokes can be funny. But a terrible dad joke can be painful as well. Sure, some of them are cheesy, and some feature bad puns, but the jokes, for the most part, are harmless and well-intentioned. I told with gusto the joke might get a laugh but don’t bet on it. Kirja on lastenromaaniksi melko pitkä yli 400 sivullaan ja itsekin meinasin ihan hengästyä sitä lukiessani, sillä 400 sivuun mahtuu t o d e l l a paljon käänteitä. Toisaalta pidän siitä, että lapsillekin tehdään pitkiä romaaneja, mutta niin monesti töissä on ollut tilanteessa, jossa kirja tyrmätään koska se on pitkä (esim. 200 sivua), että onhan tämä varmasti monelle haaste. Two cold Christmases came and went. As time passed, Frank became increasingly worried about his father. Sometimes he would find the man sitting alone in an armchair, staring into space. Often Dad wouldn’t leave the flat they lived in for days. No one beeped their horns any more when they walked down the street, and now they couldn’t afford to go to the pie and mash shop, let alone be given double helpings. On Frank’s eleventh birthday, Dad bought his son a huge race-car set. The boy loved it. What’s your name, son?” The principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” “Do you have a stutter?” the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.”

What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire. Life was golden. Because Dad was a local hero, everyone wanted to know him. Whenever he took his son out for pie and mash, the owner of the shop would give them double helpings and then wouldn’t let them pay a penny. If Frank was walking down the street with his father, people in cars would beep their horns… BEEP! BEEP! … and smile and wave. The boy always felt a burst of pride whenever that happened. Frank even got marked up on a test by his Maths teacher after the man got a photo taken with his father at parents’ evening. No one was a bigger fan of Dad than his own son. The boy At the end of this novel, Frank’s father has been released from prison, he has forgiven his mother for walking out on the family, the gangsters are in prison and his aunt is happily married, leaving Frank to say to his father, “I’ve got nothing left to wish for. All I ever wanted, all I ever needed, was you. My dad.”

I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked if it was to scale. "No," I said. "It's to look at." Dad had no idea his son was up there. The man barred his son from watching him race because he feared the worst might happen. One night it did. When is a dad joke a dad joke? When it’s apparent! (Bam! We hit you with a dad joke when you’re not ready.)In 2017 I didn't do a marathon. I didn't do one in 2018, 2019, or 2020, either. This is a running joke. We know there are people out there with prejudices, who sometimes disapprove of things, normally it’s the adults. We’ve got to move forward haven’t we? Towards love and acceptance. There might be people who resist it. But ultimately hopefully opinions will change. They’ll be brushed aside. As we go towards a much kinder way of living our lives.”