All Your Perfects: A Novel: 4 (Hopeless)

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He stares at me a moment, contemplating my odd train of thought. “Sasha is ugly. You have nothing to worry about.” Quinn is characterized as this kind-hearted and caring woman. But she isn’t. Her behaviour is selfish and uncaring. I get that she is hurt/grieving because she can’t have children, but she is basing her entire self-worth (and at one point EVERY person’s entire self-worth) on having children. She is constantly going on about how she and her body are broken and how she is failing her responsibilities to Graham by not being able to give him children – which he has never said. Quite the contrary. He TRIES to make it clear to her MULTIPLE TIMES that he is with her because he loves HER and while he may want to have children, he’s ultimately okay with not having them, because he is with her because of HER and NOT because of her ability to give him a child. The whole idea of basing your entire self-worth on your ability to conceive and being this obsessed with having a child is foreign to me. I don’t think it is my purpose in life to have a child. Quite frankly, I find that to be a disgusting statement. I understand that there are people who want children, and that infertility is a traumatic experience for some – which is why I said this book wasn’t written for me. Vincent nods and takes the cash. When his eyes meet mine, they’re swimming in apology. I give Vincent a hug since I’ll likely never see him again. I hear Ethan’s name being called out in a faint voice. At least it’s faint from this side of the door. Ethan’s bedroom is against the far side of his apartment, which indicates that whoever she is, she isn’t being quiet about it. She’s screaming his name.

The reason why I’ll buy any of her books in a heartbeat is because of the way they make me feel. There’s something about her plots that demand my heart to think about it for days. Weeks. Months. Years. I’m not surprised that this book isn’t any different from the rest of her books. I was just mostly surprised of the tremendous toll it really took on me. Like I’m not fine. At all. Will I ever be? I don’t know. This story…...YOU have NO idea what’s waiting for YOU. This book made me feel like it was a paper shredder. All it did was shred me to tiny little pieces. And then shredded those tiny little pieces into even more tinier little pieces. And the juxtaposition of seeing Quinn and Graham when they meet in the most fated meeting of all time, to their marriage completely falling apart because they both feel so much guilt, makes for a reading experience I don’t even have words for. Side note: CoHo writes the best first chapters in existence. Every one is a mini masterpiece that completely draws the reader in and enthralls and captures them, and All Your Perfects was no exception. The most important thing I like about it, everything was so real, natural , it’s about the marriage, it’s about struggle, it’s about unconditional love and it’s about learning to forgive each other but mostly learning to forgive yourself.Quinn and Graham’s perfect love is threatened by their imperfect marriage. The memories, mistakes, and secrets that they have built up over the years are now tearing them apart. The one thing that could save them might also be the very thing that pushes their marriage beyond the point of repair. This love that Graham and Quinn shared was messy, beautiful and absolutely filled to the damn brim with hope. Their story showed an ugly truth to life, that hope isn't always something to lean on, rather something to keep close. There were some aspects in this book that I will talk about in the next section, only because I'm making everything above that last section spoiler free. The Now-chapters focus on the current state of Graham’s and Quinn’s marriage and are basically Quinn hating herself for being infertile. And this is where we have a problem.

My girlfriend works with him,” he says, glancing at the apartment door with disgust. “ More than works with him, apparently.” Sasha?” I say her name incredulously, then I repeat her name, putting emphasis on the sha. “Sa sha. That explains a lot.” I'm still crying. I finished this book at 4:06 in the morning and I'm still sitting here re-reading some of the paragraphs and sobbing to myself. I don't think I have ever not regretted reading a book like this one. (Sorry for the double negative, it's one of those days, bear with me)

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It’s a sarcastic question, but I immediately see the regret in his eyes after he says it. That’s nice of him—finding it in himself to feel compassion for me when he’s obviously experiencing the same thing. “I followed them,” he says. “They’re in there together. My girlfriend and your . . . boyfriend.” Graham shakes his head a little and says, “I’m not looking for reasons to excuse the bastard, but that’s not so bad. A lot of guys don’t know how to change a tire.” All Your Perfects was heavy in a different way though. Quinn was suffocating from the constant cycle and having her hopes dashed every single time. When they drained their savings for the IVF procedures, they’re hopes were dashed once again and when they looked into adopting, the one flaw on Graham’s record led to rejection after rejection. And All your perfects is realistic story about not so perfect couple who are estranged and when they build walls between them, ruining every beautiful memory they’ve created in years, only a small box of letters help them go on!

It is unforgivable to cheat on someone. And to cheat and abandon your spouse in illness??? NOTHING can redeem you.

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Colleen Hoover never fails to amaze me. Her stories always leave me at a loss for words and All Your Perfects did not disappoint. Before I jump into the review, I do have to admit something. All Your Perfects has been on my ‘to-be-read’ shelf for two years now. I wish Graham confronted Quinn at that point, especially since he subconsciously knew that she heard. However, Graham is not the only person who could have said something at this point. Quinn could’ve called him out on his lie, but she chose to avoid it. They both chose avoidance over communication. I slide my hand through his hair and hold him against my mouth. We kiss for so long, I almost forget where I am." But seeing these two main characters' stories weave and unweave together, apart, and sometimes a weird mixture of the two, made for a really unique reading experience, and one that I thoroughly enjoyed while reading. I know CoHo isn’t for everyone, but her writing always completely captivates me. Sometimes, I think I appreciate Colleen Hoover when she marries the romance genre with sensitive and usually, skirted upon topics within literature. This very rarely is approached in today's writer society and so, it's colossal in it's results.