Office Fantasies

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More reserved cities on the list were London, with 34% of people never trying out a sexual fantasy in real life, followed by Brighton (32%) and Edinburgh (31%). Sex researchers have wondered the same thing. Several research studies have focused on what women fantasize about. A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, entitled “What Exactly Is an Unusual Fantasy?”, wanted to determine which sexual fantasies are common among women. The researchers asked women living in Quebec to answer the Wilson’s Sex Fantasy Questionnaire. 799 women completed the questionnaire, of which the majority were heterosexual. The fifteen most common fantasies as reported by these women are listed below. First of all, remember that an authentic sexual and loving encounter is only possible if we question with clarity the nature of our desire and motivations towards the other. Could sleeping with your boss or someone beneath you in the hierarchy be a way of trying to feel relationships of social domination within the love relationship, to stimulate desire? After all, business leaders are twice as likely as others to attempt a workplace fling – does this mean their position feeds their desire for conquest? According to Annabelle, her events tend to start with a striptease from the men. ‘A performance is a must – if they just take their clothes off, what’s the point?’ She says. ‘Forfeits for the worst will be determined by us ladies. It could be a spanking or we might make them melt an ice cube in their bum – it’s entertaining to see them squirm.’ No wonder that desire can arise in such an anchored context, in this enclosed place, subject to such a repetitive rhythm. To get out of it, we can be tempted to bring about “poetry, beauty, romance, love, [...] what we stay alive for”, to quote John Keating, the literature professor played by Robin Williams in The Circle of Poets disappeared (1989).

Get up,” he said, hurriedly lifting me up and spinning me around. He grabbed my breasts roughly, bending me forward over the desk. My only thought was, Yessss. The phenomenon, which is common even among employees already in a relationship, could illustrate what might be called the “vital function” of fantasy. Today, we live in a society full of paradoxes. On the one hand, the monogamous couple remains the norm: individuals seek a lasting partner, often to ensure the constancy of their emotional stability and out of fear of living alone. On the other hand, they’re constantly encouraged to accumulate ephemeral sexual experiences.This photo could be coming from series “Office Fantasies” 🙂 Classic and business style in one form 🙂 Maybe a bit spicy, that’s true, but after all it’s fantasy. 😊 The penis painting was followed by an ‘edging competition’, when the men were brought to the point of orgasm without cumming – if you cum, you fail. Describing the scene, Terry says: ‘It was two women per man, and they’d each take it in turn masturbate him. When he gets close to cumming they stop – that’s one edge. After 30 seconds or so – or when the twitching’s stopped – they start wanking him again. We had to do it eight times.’ This is undoubtedly what feeds our office fantasies: more than sleeping with this or that colleague, we basically want to desire.

We were measured soft and erect, and made to line up smallest to largest, then told to look at the ones bigger than us,’ says Terry, explaining, ‘it’s mainly to embarrass the little ones.’ Other forfeits include making the naked man stand by a window with the curtains open. ‘I once saw a guy get caught by five passersby – he was somewhat embarrassed,’ says Annabelle. Annabelle, who’s a lawyer, now runs her own bijou private parties once a month. She says: ‘I’ve got one coming up at an Air B&B in Lewisham. We’re hiring it for the day so the men can serve us afternoon tea naked.’

Reactions have varied. ‘Some guys were perplexed and couldn’t understand it, but gave it a go and didn’t like it. Others have been intrigued and embraced it.’ At Annabelle’s second event, there were ‘hotter men, less of them asking to f*** me, and the ability to tease them without touching – that’s when I knew I love this.’ Couples therapy can be a great avenue for opening up conversations about sex and the development of your sex life, if you both feel the need to have a mediator there. And so I fell into a routine of mostly being enamored and distracted. Today, like most days he walked in and greeted me. His knowing smile elicited a familiar tug between my legs that floated up through my stomach. I wanted him. I’m going to need you to stay late tonight and pull some records so I can prepare for the DRC meeting tomorrow.

Without espousing the totalitarian aspects of those asylums and prisons that Goffman studied in the United States, companies do constitute a unit of space and time where individuals can be temporarily cut off from the world, which follows a rhythm of its own, with its own codes. Fantasy also allows us to project ourselves into an imaginary reality where we could experience something else, and even dream of being someone different. In the fantasy of flirting or sexual intercourse with the colleague also conceals the desire to play out a new and unexpected scenario, the curiosity to play a new part in the social game of seduction. “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players”, says the melancholic Jaques in the introduction to Shakespeare’s play As You Like It (1599). Basically, we don’t dream of this or that colleague, but rather, of being someone else. Ideally, you could take advantage of an event that might merge the private and professional spheres – or even provoke it. Why not try to get close to them during the annual seminar in the countryside, or ask if they’d like to meet up in another setting? We sometimes need to change space to reveal other facets of our multiple identities: we’re not the same at work and outside. A friend told me they only started to see her handsome colleague in a new light after she accepted his invitation to attend the Dunkirk carnival. Now, they form a happy couple. Try writing down what you want to talk about before you broach the subject – this can help you organise your thoughts and think about the questions your partner might have.

7. Role play

But even if you act completely legally, you could be the first to suffer from the embarrassment of exposing your intimate life in a space which is part of the public sphere: just the thought that their other colleagues might get to know about their antics is enough to put some off, to the point that they regret taking the liberty of mixing work and pleasure. Taking action is a challenge that must be carefully weighed up. However, this unique place that is the office can also hold some pleasant surprises, since 16% of all couples are formed there. So how can we arbitrate this choice? Could your colleague turn out to be the love of your life?