Empress Theresa

Product Information

Forced Sleep: Theresa puts the whole planet to sleep for 600 years after some people accidentally acquired their own versions of HAL after the atom bomb incident which caused him to make multiple copies of himself. The reasoning behind this to stop people from figuring out how to use HAL for evil and going mad with power (the irony of this, given her own actions, is lost on her). It must be remembered that, according to Norman Boutin's mind, his book is the greatest that has ever been written. To him, it is absolutely perfect, and above all criticism. It is imp Fun with Acronyms: The secret government organization monitoring Theresa is called the Office of Orbital Phenomena Surveillance. This is played completely seriously. Eagleland: Type 2. Theresa speaks contemptuously of "the American dream of secure mediocrity", and the President of the United States tries to have her killed, For the Evulz.

At one point, Theresa is bleeding in the ocean and attracting sharks, which HAL turns into chum, attracting more sharks and repeating the cycle endlessly. However, shark blood actually acts like shark repellant-no other sharks would've been attracted to the carnage. Nuclear Physics: The story claims that "nothing can survive an A-bomb" at one point. However, multiple people survived the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki ( one man even survived both), and there are multiple types of animal that can survive enormous doses of nuclear radiation. Sent Into Hiding: Theresa is hidden at the Parker Estate by Prime Minister Blair to avoid assassins whilst thinking of a plan to save the world. Despite this, she somehow gets mail containing huge amounts of cash.

She is woken up at 4AM and put into a "twin turboprop," where Theresa learns that the bomb will go off at 60,000 feet. She is also given a special thermal one piece because it gets cold that high. While on the journey, Theresa ponders the ontological argument for God and prays the twenty-third psalm. They arrive after several hours at an aircraft carrier, where the plane refuels and then takes off again. They land at another carrier where Theresa is brought before the captain and a group of officers. A female officer takes out her cell phone and records a video of Theresa, asking her if she has anything to say for her last words. Theresa paraphrases Tecumseh with: "If people grieve your passing rejoice in the good you did and die like a hero going home." I feel it is important for you, the reader of this summary, to know the full speech that Theresa has translated for them that moves the North Koreans to become free. As most indie authors know, part of how you market your books is how you market yourself. Because you're on your own for getting the word out, people are going to look at you and see how you carry yourself, and how you brand your product. If you're conceited and egotistical, and respond to criticism with the maturity of an angry five-year old, then people are going to hate your product. If you show maturity, a respect for the craft, and a love for your readers, then people are going to be interested in what you have to offer.

This Wiki is inspired by the Indie published book Empress Theresa, about a young girl, Theresa Sullivan, who soon becomes united with a strange alien lifeform and gains superpowers. It has become infamous due mainly to the antics of its author, Norman Boutin. Two hundred and four white spheres hovered miles over Eastern Massachusetts.” Theresa is as confused about this as anyone else, and waits patiently to see what happens next. The Hartleys are worried at what might happen if they begin to merge with people. In a matter of minutes, they merge with onlooking spectators, and, suddenly, there are now 205 people with HAL inhabiting themselves. Many of the new HAL habitators are in hiding, with less than two hundred expected to report themselves. Theresa is unbelievably mad at this development, knowing that the idiots who have these powers would destroy themselves and each other in the process.Oh, so very much. Rather than use her powers to save the world, Theresa basically goes on an extended holiday and complains about everything in France. She also misses chipmunks while there. Norman Boutin has also used this to try to defend mistakes in his book. For example, when people pointed out the (hundreds of) typos, he replied that he came across copies of Pride and Prejudice and JP Morgan's biography which contained typos. [44] The "You haven't read the whole book" Card [ ] Theresa's husband, Steve Hartley. He exists only to be rude to anyone who might offend his precious Theresa. Theresa wakes up in a British hospital bed with Peter Blair watching over her. Blair makes mention of how much has been spent on her recovery and the like, with Theresa wondering what all the fuss is about. She then goes to the window to see half a million people cheering her on. She is then told that, because the wind has stopped everywhere, the only livable places will be near the coasts, where the only rain will happen. Theresa doesn’t know what to do, but agrees to a BBC interview discussing HAL. She is transported to a hotel with all the greatest accommodations, being served with only the greatest care and admiration. Right before the BBC interview, she denies a phone call from her husband, insisting they need to talk in person first.

In that time, Theresa has 420 children, meaning that at a minimum she would have to have been pregnant for 315 straight years, becoming pregnant immediately after the last child is born. Three helicopter flights later, she arrives in a southern airbase, and taken to a cafeteria where she is allowed to eat. She takes twelve bottles of Coca-Cola and put eleven of the bottles in a garbage bag. The guards permit her to keep it, dismissing it "as the irrational behavior of someone who knew she'd die in hours." She is then taken to her room, where she is permitted to sleep. The final chapter is filled with numerous questions caused by Theresa putting the entire human race into a 600-year coma.Many times the critics who say they couldn't finish the book say it's because it was boring, went on too long, or was just poorly written. When Norman opines that they didn't see what happens at the end, he seems to have completely missed the point: they don't want to get to the end, because his book is so badly written. If a movie has the best climax ever, but has two hours of needless and poorly done filler before then, no one is going to stay for the climax. Likewise, if a book is badly written, no one is going to continue reading it. While playing baseball, Theresa deliberately doesn't throw as fast as she can because she wants to avoid detection. Considering she pitches at 85 mph (for the record, the slowest a Major League pitcher throws is 60 mph) at the age of ten, the idea of her "avoiding detection" is laughable. Theresa's small size is described as helping her throw faster when she plays baseball. In reality, pitching speed has far more to do with upper body strength, the grip on the ball, and how hard it gets thrown. Baseball, particularly in the past, is known as a sport where body size isn't an essential trait for a decent player. A legend like Babe Ruth could get by with a pudgy frame thanks to Baseball relying far more on short-term bursts of speed over long-term endurance. Starfish Alien: Hal is an ageless, indestructible life form that looks like a white orb. His biology is utterly inexplicable, supposedly being based on dark matter, but it is known that he can only reproduce while in symbiosis with a host.