To Have and to Hold: Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma

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Sometimes life is handed to you. Sometimes it’s taken away without warning. For Kate Starr, her life is now about moving forward, not knowing if her husband has been killed in his tour of duty in Vietnam. Suddenly Kate must raise their two daughters by herself and struggle with the U.S. government to get news of her husband. Slowly but surely, her fight to be heard transforms Kate into a successful businesswoman ready to find love again and live life to the fullest—by learning to let go of the very things that mean the most to her . . . I loved the many different POV's. It removed the mystery and it gave you an insight into so many characters. This doesn't work with every book but it definitely worked with this one. I also loved how the ending told us what happened to all the characters. Not all books tell you what happens and sometimes it's just nice to know. In the [United] States, a woman is looked after, by herself and by others, only so long as her body is a receptacle for the baby. Attention then transfers to the needs of the infant. To ask for respite to betray not only weakness and helplessness, but selfishness. You should be prepared for the emotional and physical demands of your new motherly role and you should like them, too. Anyway, buku ini menceritakan tentang seorang perempuan bernama Alice. Dulunya Alice ini gadis biasa, rambut keriting, nggak cakep. Alice mempunyai mimpi untuk tinggal di pedesaan, berkebun dan melakukan pekerjaan domestik. Perkawinan di fantasinya adalah dilakukan di sebuah gereja batu kecil, dengan memakai fluffy wedding gown, mahkota bunga dan tanpa alas kaki.

I liked that the ending was happy for Alice and she finally stood on her own two feet and was strong enough to walk away. Even though I think she’s an idiot, I did feel a bit bad for Joe’s latest victim, Josie. Once a cheater, always a cheater in Joe’s case. The New York Times printed a letter, also in June, suggesting an unseemly similarity between To Have and to Hold and another historical romance of Virginia, The Head of a Hundred (1897) by Maud Wilder Goodwin; in a letter to her publisher, Johnston denied she had borrowed her plot from Goodwin. In 1901, E. F. Boddington adapted Johnston’s novel into a poorly received play of the same name, directed by Charles Frohman. Two silent films followed: one released in 1916, starring Wallace Reid and Mae Murray, and directed by George Melford; and one released in 1922, starring Bert Lytell and Betty Compson, and directed by George Fitzmaurice. A third film version, shot in Virginia and the Cayman Islands, was produced in 2012 but never released.Hal ini diperparah dengan kehadiran Harry,pacar Emily yang jatuh cinta kepada Alice dan juga kedatangan Josie ke New York. Cinco años después, Alice y Joe siguen felizmente casados... Bueno, más o menos, porque Joe siempre está trabajando y casi no se ven, a Alice esa vida glamurosa que llevan no le acaba de gustar y encima ahora, a causa del trabajo de Joe, se tienen que ir a vivir a Nueva York. Pero una vez en Estados Unidos Alice cumplirá por fin su verdadero sueño: vivir en una encantadora casita en el campo, una casa que perteneció a una escritora que tenía muchas cosas en común con Alice y que hará ver a esta que su matrimonio es de todo menos de color de rosa. A graduate of the French Culinary Institute in New York, Green is bringing out her first cookbook: Good Taste , with Berkley in October 2016.

the wife Alice was blind to all the signs which keeps nagging the wife that something is fishy,she keeps herself busy by socializing and in their country house,the hubby Joe just can't seem to have control on his lust ,seemed to be any woman who walked by he wanted to have sex with her,he is addicted to sex and seemed to me he might have missed out some therapy sessions in teens that is why now at age 38 he needed counseling and therapy on how to control his sexual urges On sex after childbirth: "As exhausted mothers, we often resent our husbands for having any interest in sex because it's just one more piece of evidence that they have energy we do not have. Their requests for sex show that they obviously have no clue exactly how drained we are or exactly how uncomfortable and unsexy we feel in our post-childbirth bodies. ...our husbands become just one more person placing demands on us, and particularly demands on our bodies… In other words, their interest in sex is proof that they aren't with us, don't get us, and don't see where we are, and possibly that they're selfishly pursuing gratification of their own needs. ...But the irony is that sometimes, their sexual overtures may well be their way of saying, I'm right here. I see you and I want to be with you. I'm reaching for you." (151-152)On changing relationship dynamics: "Generally, a new mother is primarily concerned with getting adequate support in caring for the new baby, and a new father is primarily concerned--though perhaps less consciously--with the fear that he has been usurped by the baby. Indeed, the feeling new fathers often have in relation to their wives is one of being irrelevant, or at least less relevant than they used to be, and this is typically a very painful feeling to bear." (169) Ho preso questo libro un po' di anni fa e finalmente ho avuto l'occasione di leggerlo anche se devo dire che mi ha un po' deluso.